I think I may have learned a lesson yesterday. I certainly hope I have. The next time I am in a similar situation, I will remember and react differently. What was the situation?
Well, last night I was singing in a concert which was put on by my singing tutor Cher Hunter and her husband Daz, called Find Your Voice. How incredible to support people in finding their voice. It is a therapeutic process and for me, one that included tears and I know it did for others as well.
It is wonderful to support people to be all that God has created us to be. And singing, for me anyway, brings joy. I particularly love singing my own songs that I’ve written. It's a wonderful process. Listening to myself sing? Not so much. I think my voice is okay but in doing lessons; I realized I can improve my voice and learned that for many years I had been singing in my head. Perhaps as a soprano I sing higher anyway and am more likely therefore to sing in my head. It was an expositional moment when my tutor demonstrated perhaps telling off my child (of course she is too old for that now, or maybe not), from my head (which does not seem believable) or from my body (which is fully congruent with what you are saying and uses your whole diaphragm). That brought the concept home for me and if I sing from my body more, then I will convey the emotion and touch people's hearts more through my music. As I write my music from my heart, why wouldn't I want that? So I've been practicing.
Starting the day with music is great for me. Often, of course, there are other things to do, including taking the dog for a walk, which is also a great time to sing and or pray or listen to some positive teaching.
Last night I heard of another person who loves to sing in the Richmond Hills. It may become a thing.
This week, I also had the privilege of recording a drum track for three of my songs, thanks to Vaughan Sandford at Riverstone Studios and Troy Sampson. Thanks to you both for your efforts, and of course I had to listen to my vocals, which will be improved and redone! But I didn’t like listening to them. Sometimes I'm okay, other times not.
So yesterday as I practiced for the concert, I got myself into a nervous state. Oh joy, not! I felt as if I would be better off doing nothing. What was I thinking, anyway? But music brings me joy!
Finally, the time came to go to the concert venue and practice, and it was great fun. We were all nervous, some more than others, but yay, we were all out here doing it. Isn’t that something to be celebrated? I think so.
As for singing my songs, we had a false start and had to start again, and then it was all good. Not perfect, but good enough. I was happy. Happy, I didn’t listen to my doubts. I hope I can remember this next time because as I waited for the time of the practice to arrive; I didn't feel like doing much at all. I even forgot to eat my dinner! Next time, I am determined to look ahead with joyful anticipation of another learning opportunity, of which I will have this weekend as I am singing a couple of my songs in a talent quest. This is yet another level of challenge as I play guitar well and also put into practice my new learning in my vocals. I hope that good enough will be good enough.
I hope too I can encourage you to remember when you’re not feeling good, how your confidence has grown in other areas. Can you remember where you've come from and enjoy the journey a little more?
When I first started playing in the church band again, I was so nervous. I’m starting to relax more now, and I am so pleased I started again after a 25 year break because it is bringing so much richness to my life.
Can we live out loud unapologetically? Human beings are all amazing in so many ways, and it is awesome to give things a go.
One of my best friends has recently run an ultramarathon, which is an amazing feat for anyone, let alone someone over 50. I remember how hard I trained and competed in a bodybuilding competition at age 37. I loved the journey and was pleased I did it, although there were many negatives in it for me, one, of course, the dieting, not my favorite thing! No fruit for 5 months! Being so thin, I could pull my skin out from my body quite a way. Now I think it's a little crazy, but I’m still pleased I did it. It was wonderful to have a goal in training to work towards. I also took up jazz ballet in my thirties. I think I was 20-plus years older than the next student but I loved it, while I could dance, it was fabulous. I had always wanted to dance but at 14, when I’d wanted to learn earlier, I was supposedly too old, or so I thought.
Today, I am celebrating and happy for taking on the challenge of singing in a concert. I hope that next time, because there will definitely be a next time that I’ll have a different attitude.
And I hope the same for you, dear reader. Live life loud, and dust off those negative thoughts. GO FOR IT!
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